This is the transcript for The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland.
Ernie: (He's humming, but notices the audience.) Hi there everybody! Welcome to the movie! Hey, we're so glad you came! Now this movie... (Bert comes in, with a shower headress & a towel.)
Bert: Ernie! Listen, Ernie. I'm going to take a shower. Have you seen my anti-bacterial soap?
Ernie: Uh, no Bert. I haven't
Bert: Oh. (Ernie comes back to us.)
Ernie: Now, this movie you're about to see is all about, Elmo.
Bert: Who are you talking to?
Ernie: The audience, Bert. They're right here.
Bert: (He gasps.) Wow! Look at all those people! Hey, nice cardigan. (He laughs with Ernie.)
Ernie: Now, in this movie, Elmo is going to ask for your help. He wants you to talk and play along.
Bert: Uh, how do we start?
Ernie: It's easy. Just count backwards from 10.
Ernie: You see, Bert. That's how you start a movie, Bert.
Ernie: Can you all help us count backwards from ten?
Kids in audience: Yeah!
Ernie: Ready? Yell real loud! (A countdown, looking similar to the classic SMPTE film leader comes on.)
Ernie, Bert, Kids in audience: Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one!
(The background turns into a cloudy scenery.)
Ernie: Do you think you going to put some clothes on now?
Bert: What? (He notices, & screams. He runs away.)
Ernie: Enjoy the movie, everybody.
(The title comes on. The camera goes to Elmo's apartment where he is sleeping. A cuckoo-clock's hatch opens. But, instead of the usual 1-12 repeating cuckoo sounds...)
Cuckoo Clock Bird: WAKE UP! (See what I mean?)
Elmo: Aaah! (He falls out of bed.) Elmo's up! Elmo's up! Elmo's... (He notices the audience.) Wow! Hello, everybody.
Elmo: Hi, Telly.
Grover: Yes, sir.
Mr. Johnson: Oh no, not you again. Well, listen, I like...
Elmo: Blanket! Blanket!
Grover: This looks like a job for Super Grover!
Mr. Johnson: But what about breakfast?
Grover: No thank you sir i cannot fly any full stomach.
Big Bird: Look out!
Super Grover: My little super body can the take much way.
Elmo: Oh, no, Super Grover!
Elmo: (Elmo notices that his blanket is gone.) Aaaah! It's gone! I can't believe it! My blanket is completely gone!
Gina: All right, come here. Come on. Let me see that. Oh, it's just a popped seam. Easily repaired. You should consider yourself lucky.
Elmo: Lucky? Are you shrink-wrapped? I am missing my blanket!
Zoe: Big deal. (She shoots a dart at Elmo's poster stand up at the forehead.) Let him go. I'm sure his precious Oscar is dying to play with an blanket-less red monster.
Bob: Why, Zoe, you know he wouldn't last an hour on the streets. It's a dangerous world out there for a Muppet.
- Elmo: Elmo didn't know Oscar place was this big. Blanket there you are Elmo so glad to see you Elmo miss you Come on let's go home.
- Bert: Hey Wait Stop The Film! Stop The Film! Ernie Ernie
- Ernie: Oh Whats The Matter Bert
- Bert What’s Happening To Elmo
- Ernie: Don't worry Bert. That's just the way to get to grouchland.
- Huxley: (turns to Bugsy) Bug, you really know how to ruin a villainous moment don't you? (Bugsy clings in fear) Now, get into the cartoonishly evil vehicle and drive!
- Bugsy: Sir! Yes, sir!
- Elmo: Blanket!
- Bert: Stop the movie! Stop the movie! [the film pauses]
- Bert: Did you see Huxley did? He took Elmo's blanket! I can't look.
- Ernie: (to Bert) Don't worry, Bert. It'll be okay. (to the audience) Right, everybody? 'cause we know Elmo won't give up until he give his blanket back. Roll film! [the film resumes] Let's watch Bert.
- Elmo: That place is so far far away.
- Huxley: Are you listenin'?
- Bug: Uh-huh.
- Huxley: Get back to work!
- Elmo Whee (Laughing) Uh Oh (Screams)
- Rocks Crash
- Elmo: Ah! Oh, yay! Oh, thank you, fireflies.
- Bug: Queen of Trash? But nobody stinks that bad.
- Ernie: Come on, Bert, let's go find what happens to Elmo.
- Maria: Oh, Oscar, get over it. We've got to think about Elmo.
- Cookie Monster: Cookies.
- Zoe: This is hopeless.
- Elmo: Oh, good. Elmo feels a lot better with you here. But Elmo still misses his blanket.
- Bert: Stop the movie again!
- Elmo: Blanket! (Elmo burst through the window.) Elmo wants his blanket back, now!
- ELMO: Blanket Whoa Of Wo A
- Huxley: Bugsy! Bugsy! Don't let him escape with my
- Elmo: You let Elmo and his Blanket go!
- Huxley: I don't think so. You and your blanket are both mine now. [makes buzzing noises that pushes the button]
- Big Bird: Let's go back to Sesame Street.
- Elmo: Let's go home, Blanket! Yea! [Elmo laughs. The scene changes as Elmo's blanket floats down through the air and lands on Elmo's arms.]
Elmo: Elmo just wanted to say, thanks for helping. Elmo loves you. [he waves to us] Bye bye. [he goes back with the dancing neighbors. Ernie and Bert come in]
- Ernie: See, Bert? Just like I told you, Elmo got his blanket back.
- Bert: Yeah, and it's a happy ending.
- Ernie: (to the audience) Yeah, and thank you all for helping.
- Bert: Oh yeah, you deserve a big round of applause.
- Ernie: Yeah, yeah, everybody clap for yourselves, come on!
- (Ernie and Bert clap. The children in the audience cheer.)
- Bert: You were great!
- Ernie: Okay, Bert, time to go home. [if watching in 1.33:1 full screen, black bars appear. The top one descends as the bottom one ascends making the picture the usual 1.85:1 widescreen format.]
- Bert: Yeah, and I knew everything would be okay.
- Ernie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Bert: I knew Elmo would get his blanket back.
Bert: And I knew there'd be a happy ending.
Ernie: Of course, Bert.
Bert: (to the audience) See ya! [turns to leave, but then notices that the end credits are starting] Oh, look, look, look! Ernie, credits! OH! I wanna see who did the catering. Yeah, that was really good toast, you know, they cut off the crusts and everything.
Ernie: Uh, Bert, time to feed your pigeons.
Bert: Oh, yeah, thank you. Bernice! [leaves]
- Ernie: (to the audience) Bye-bye. [snickers, then leaves, ending the film]